I’d seen sadness before. A few times in my life I had seen adult men, downtrodden when their favorite football team took a bad beat, but this, this was different. And only coming out could release the dam of grief inside. — I experienced my first funeral at age 9(ish). I honestly don’t remember the year. What I do remember is what I saw, and what I heard. For the first time in my life, I saw sad grown-ups. I heard hushed, low whispers. Words of mourning. I really wasn’t sure what…

The surprise result of transitioning was that I suddenly became memorable to… everyone. — I’ve changed. I’m different now. Now, before you accuse me of moonlighting as a stand-in for captain obvious from those hotels.com commercials, no I’m not talking about my gender transition. I’m different because my gender transition makes me memorable. Before I started transitioning, I was perceived to be a run-of-the-mill…

Hearing people call you by your new name feels like floating, it’s an amazing feeling. The first time someone calls you by your old name when they know your new name however, that feels like a punch in the gut. — Hi — my name is Nia. Nia wasn’t always my name, though you may have guessed that based on the title of this article. Picking out a new name is a big deal for a transgender person. …

Two years ago today my path forked, and my life changed forever — Two years ago today, my life forked. I’m not sure if the path I took was meant to be taken on that specific day at that specific moment in time, but it happened. It wasn’t how I envisioned coming out as a transgender woman. That vision involved a wonderfully thought…

I found myself a long time ago. I’ve known myself since I was young; I just kept putting her somewhere safe — while others tried to bury her. — I have lost myself. I thought, after finding myself through many years of self-work and self-love, it would be harder to lose myself — but I was wrong. I have lost me. I came out as a transgender woman to my family two years ago this week. Firm in my…

I was willing to change my gender before I was willing to say the word “Fuck.” — I never used to curse. I honestly still feel bad for writing about it. These scripts are deep down inside me somewhere trying to claw their way out. The scripts that produce guilt and shame, ever present companions of the past, seemingly vanquished for moments of true serenity where I…

The Power of Privilege, and the Eye-Opening Effects of Losing it in One Fell Swoop — Recently I participated in an activity as part of our leadership team at work called Privilege for Sale.* This activity was a part of a larger discussion about race and social justice in the world, as well as within the educational organization where I am the Human Resources Director. The…